Especially in this generation, labels, specifically identity labels, have become a topic of great importance.

From the second people are born they are assigned a label. Categorized. Numbered.

Girl. Boy. Healthy. Unhealthy. Weight. Height. Wealth. 

And from these labels come assumptions, which are often used to turn large groups against each other, unintentionally or not. You may have been taught to avoid people of lower social status than you, or that people who have been diagnosed with mental illnesses are dangerous. Autistic people are dumb, and blondes have more fun.

You have also likely found that as you interact with these people, the assumptions often get proven incorrect. This is the point in society we are at right now. People are mixing together and labels are broken down, leaving people in a confusing transition era that will eventually affect them in some way, even if not immediately.

If you scroll through this website you will see countless examples of labels and the problems they are currently causing.

In Brianna Dobbs’ article “‘Euphoria’ Gets LGBTQ+ Representation Right,” she discusses the powerful impact of representation in giving people the confidence to step outside the labels that have been placed on them. “Euphoria is greatly and rightfully admired for the lack of labels on its characters. None of the characters are stereotyped into the ‘gay best friend’ or ‘masculine lesbian’ and it feels so nice to be able to watch a show that correctly portrays what being LGBTQ+ is like in modern day life,” she writes.

Alternatively, in Kyle Mucha’s article, “Don’t Headcanon Real People, Please,” he makes the point that we cannot go so far in our search of representation that we deny real people the right to choose what labels mean to them. To “head canon,” or assign labels, to a character in a television show is one thing, but to force labels onto real people strips them of the same rights you are trying to fight for.

One of the most popular articles on the Vidette, “The Problem With Pronouns,” by Thùy Nguyễn, is also about labels and the issue with forcing people to put themselves in a box. It doesn’t matter anymore if that box was assigned by society, as long as you are still willing to step in one that you designed yourself.

But all this is not to say that labels are unnecessary.

One of the major themes I have noticed in humanity is the tendency to swing between extremes before reaching a more blended area. Historically speaking, although a lot of these labels people use, specifically regarding sexuality and gender, seem new, they have always been used, even if not in words. People feel, and words are very rarely an accurate translation of raw emotion. So although people have always felt this way, it is only being labeled now. A problem has to be labeled before it can be addressed, and in this case the problem was injustice towards a specific group of people: the LGBTQ+ community.

Labels allow people to accept. When people say “let’s not label it” when talking about an issue, they are usually choosing not to acknowledge it as a real and worthy topic that deserves support. They are refusing to allow it into reality.

This is particularly true in regards to mental illnesses. Speaking from personal experience, it is very difficult to begin working on a problem you are having if you can’t even admit to yourself that it is a problem; a diagnosis is often necessary. 

And mental illnesses provide the example of dismissing identity as an illness. Being gay used to be diagnosed as a mental illness, and gender dysphoria is still listed in the DSM-5. An illness is just something that hurts a person or the people around them. Anything can become an illness if it begins to control you. And ironically people deemed mentally ill are the ones most likely to be getting treatment and learning to control themselves, making them less likely to commit crimes than the average white man. An identity is not inherently an illness, but any identity can become one.

“I think labels hurt. It allows people to put you into categories that are easy for them. Most people are too complex to truly be labeled,” said Erik Kessler, my dad and someone who has frequently been deemed odd for not fitting into social molds. “I am certain that there are labels attached to me by the outside world. My only label that I value is the label I create for myself,” he continued.

The only thing people can control is themselves. You always have a choice, even if there are outside factors that make that choice harder. We are constantly changing our identities, which only we can decide, and so they will change every day of our lives. Don’t restrict this growth by forcing people into boxes and making them stay in place just because the idea of change scares you. That fear stems from not being able to control yourself. But you can’t control the world, no matter how hard you try.

We are living in a very interesting world where people are finally being given the freedom to choose their own identities.

You can’t force people to change. You can’t force people into a box. As much as you try, there will always be a sliver of that original self, lodged in the brain as a sequence of patterns. A tunnel that has grown over with trees, but is still waiting to be traveled through once again.

Some people will never understand the topic I discuss in this article, and that’s okay. I can’t force anything onto them and it is important to recognize that extremes are often necessary to survive in extreme situations. 

All we can do is our best. We are all constantly growing and no one, even those in prison—the murderers and pedophiles—are not beyond help. They may not reach the same place as those of us existing within the walls of society within their lifetime, but I believe that everyone can change if the conditions and lessons are given correctly. 

That being said, it’s okay to walk away from people who are hurting you. You are allowed to have feelings, to hate people, or to find them annoying. It is not your responsibility to teach someone to be a better person when only they can truly decide that, especially not if doing that destroys you, although I still think it is important to recognize that they were likely also struggling if they could cause us such pain. It’s about tolerance. We all have positives and negatives and it is our personal moral systems that allow us to separate who we personally view as a decent person and who we don’t. Nobody is good or bad, but we are still allowed to feel like they are to a certain degree.

We are all in different places of growth in life and we have all had different experiences. Sometimes we find that people we used to be close to haven’t grown in the same way or in the same pace that we have, and we separate. As saddening as this may be, it’s a part of the process and maintaining an inner sense of stability is how we get through this, even if that stability gets wrecked each time and has to be rebuilt. Sometimes things have to be torn apart in order for something new to be created, but not always.

I don’t know what will happen in the future, and neither does anybody else, but if I had to wish for one thing to happen it would be that society continues to make an effort to move towards balance, acknowledging that balance can never truly be achieved. That’s how we learn and that’s how we know that we are in control, at least as much as we can be.